


The Hedge

by FrangipaniFlower



Category: Homeland
Genre: F/M, Naked Quinn, Smut and Fluff, dialogue only, promptfill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7451770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrangipaniFlower/pseuds/FrangipaniFlower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My promptfill for the prompt "has to have naked Quinn, all the way throughout an important conversation".</p><p>Quinn has been out for a few drinks and finds himself in a very uncomfortable situation a bit later. So uncomfortable that he calls Carrie to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hedge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zeffy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeffy/gifts).



> This wouldn't exist without Laure's promptfill. She kickstarted this idea and format with that.

(Mid S3, late at night, Carrie just is about to go to bed, when her phone rings)

-Quinn?

-Carrie. Hey.

-What is it? Anything new 'bout Javadi? I called you like twenty times tonight. I sent you like a dozen texts. Why didn't you answer?

-Eh, no, nothing from Javadi. And I'm...calling you now.

-About time. I just gave up and went to bed.

-Sorry. I...listen, it's...

-I just wonder if he really took the bait. It's been days since I spoke to Franklin. What d'you think?

-Carrie, I...

-You were there, Quinn. You think I was made? At the yoga studio?

-I don't know. I really don't know. But, Carrie, I...

-I was back in time. They didn't see me leaving, I'm sure of that. You said you pulled up right next to him, didn't you?

-I did. But you were really cutting close. Anyway, I need...

-That was a nice thing to do. I mean helping me. Even with one of my not so great ideas. And not telling Saul.

-I still don't get why you fucking risk the success of a mission of a lifetime for that ginger terrorist's teenage angst ridden daughter. As if you'd give a fuck. But, Carrie, I really...

-Of course I give a fuck. You think I'm not receptive for, dunno, human pain? Fuck you, Quinn.

-No, that's not what I'm saying. But, listen, I...

-Fuck, Quinn, you call me at the middle of the night to blame me?

-No, I just...Let's forget about it, Carrie. I just need...

-No, we are not forgetting about it. Why do you think I don't care about Dana Brody?

-I didn't say that. But Carrie, I need...

-No. Quinn. Why?

-I just thought you wouldn't risk that mission's success. Not after what you personally sacrificed for that. But can we discuss that later, I...

-No. No, we're discussing it now. So you think I really did ruin the mission?

-No, I didn't say that. Carrie, please, I really...

-Fuck, Quinn, since when are you so ambiguous? What did you say? Or wanna say?

-Carrie, I really...Fuck, it's getting cold. What I wanted to say was just that you went fucking incredible great lengths for that mission and it would be a shame if that would be ruined by your noble attempt to help Jess and Dana Brody. So you should have asked for help. I could have gone to see the FBI agent. But...

-You really think that?

-What?

-Fucking incredible great lenghts.

-Yeah. I meant it. But Carrie...

-Why didn't you say so earlier?

-I did. At least I tried. Carrie, I have a tiny...

-Why can we only have a nice conversation with compliments over the phone? I didn't take you for such a nice guy. But that is nice. To call to compliment my work.

[Quinn sighs.]

-Quinn?

-Carrie. I...I didn't...No, wait. What I'm  
gonna say now, don't do a classic anger blow out right away, listen...

-What the fuck are you talking about?

-Fuck, Carrie. Of course I like your work but that's not why I called. Carrie, I...

-Fuck, Quinn. Are you drunk? I just thought you...

-Carrie, shut the fuck up and listen. I need a lift.

-....

-Carrie?

-I'm speechless. All that sweet talk about my work just because you need a lift? So you are drunk.

-No. I...I'm kind of...trapped...

-Trapped? Can't pay for your drinks? C'mon, you should be a regular, they should grant you credit til tomorrow. Just flash your credentials. Or wait, bartender's a woman? Use one of those black ops stares.

-No. Carrie, it's...worse...listen, I...well, I was with someone tonight and...

-Ehm, Quinn, we're not discussing your sex life now, are we? We're not girlfriends. We're...

-No need to discuss my sex life. I just need a lift.

-A lift? Like me picking you up? So you are drunk and weren't...as pleasing as you were expected to be? She kicked you out? No offer to stay? Jeez, you must have been really bad.

-No. I was very...fuck, doesn't matter. I just need a lift.

-Fine. Let's just say I owe you for the yoga studio. So I won't dig deeper. Where are you?

-33rd. Corner Prospect Street.

-That's Georgetown. Sweet. Colonial House?

-Yes.

-Is she a student? Quinn, really, I didn't think you were going after teenagers. But she wasn't underage, was she? Cause I'm giving you a character witness in case you're caught fucking child.

-No. A lecturer. And I asked for a lift. Not for a character witness.

-Oh. And what did she lecture for you tonight? Fifty shades of grey? Sorry. Lame, I know.

(Carrie is in her car now.)

-Could you hurry a bit? It's kinda cold.

-Well, then wait in your fucking car. You can sit inside, even if you're to drunk to drive. Didn't think you were one those 'don't drink don't drive' suburbian softies, by the way.

-Well, how about trying to make a difference between my so called career and my so called private life?

-Only taking lives when you get paid for it? Jeez, Quinn, I didn't say that.

-Well, you just did.

-Eh, uhm, you led me there. Sorry.

-Are you on your fucking way now? It's really cold.

-Then wait in your fucking car. And stop the swearing, how 'bout 'Dear Carrie, thank you for crawling out of your bed way after midnight to pick me up from an one night stand which turned out to be a non-one-night-stand cause of drunken erectile dysfunction'. That's why you called me? And not one of your black ops guys? No worries, you're safe with me. I'll just use it when you try to make me eat indian food again. So if it's always greek or italian now...

-Carrie, I don't suffer from erec...fuck, ouch...where the fuck are you?

-Be right there. Can see your car. Where the fuck are you?

-Ehm, around the corner.

-Which corner? You said colonial house, corner Prospect Street. I am at that corner, here is a colonial house, I can see both streets and your fucking car so where are you?

-Around the corner of that hedge to your left.

-Quinn, I know you're drunk but I'm not playing hide an seek with you. How old are you? Cutting forty? Come the fuck out or I'll leave.

-Carrie, please don't. It's just...well, do you have a blanket in your car?

-I'm not here for a fucking picknick. Of course I don't have a blanket in my car. And no hamper.

-Maybe a rescue blanket?

-Jesus, Quinn, you didn't harm that girl, did you? Because then we better fucking see we'll get away from here, no time for chivalry then.

-No, of course I didn't harm that WOMAN. I fucked a woman, Carrie, not a girl.

-Whatever. And technically, you didn't fuck her when your...

-CARRIE. BLANKET.

-No, I don't have a rescue blanket. Calm down. And now the fuck come out and let's go, I have an early meeting tomorrow.

-Ok. I'll just come out now. Ouch, fuck. The thing is just, Carrie, I'm...

-NAKED. 

-Sorry, didn't know you already can see me. 

-Jesus, Quinn, you have such a..ehm, you are such a dick. What the fuck.

-I was trying to tell you.

-Yeah, you clearly were not. Fuck, where are your clothes?

-Stop sneering. This is not funny. I can see you now, you know that, do you?

-Yeah. Sorry. I just...let me just park the car. Wait a sec. Where are your clothes?

-Inside.

-THAT bad?

-No. I...She...

-So, she has your car key? And your clothes? And your purse? That's why you didn't call a cab?

-Carrie, please let's just go. I...I'll deal with that tomorrow. Carrie, open that fucking door. Why did you lock it? And why are we having this conversation over the phone?

-Cause we are having it over the phone. By the way, WHY the fuck do you still have your phone? But nothing else?

-Carrie, OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR.

-If I were you I'd tune down a bit, Quinn. Cause if I were a resident here to me it would seem like a naked man is harrassing a woman sitting in her car. And now answer the question.

-Fuck, Carrie, please.

-Answer that question.

-Fucking fine. She threw it out of the window. So it was already there.

-When she threw you out. How convenient. So you could call dear Carrie. You know what, Quinn? It's you lucky day. Carrie to the rescue.

(Carrie unlocks the door, jumps out of her car and is at the front door of the colonial house with four steps.)

-Carrie, fuck, no. You are NOT gonna...

(Carrie presses her finger down on the doorbell, non-stop)

-You stay behind. She already had an eye - and probably a taste - of that and that didn't...Oh, hi, sorry, my name's Carrie and I...

(An attractive woman, blond, blue eyes, in a negligé and silk robe has opened the door, mid-thirty)

-You're Carrie? That was quick.

(Then she shouts over Carrie's shoulder, down the dark road)

-You're not just an ass but a coward, you wimp.

-Weeeeell, I get that this was rather unpleasant but maybe you just give his clothes back and...

-Rather unpleasant? You're sick people. Perverts. That's foreplay for you creeps or what?

-What the fuck are you talking about? Listen, I know this was rather unexpected, but those things happen, and it's unfortunate for him as well and...

-THOSE THINGS HAPPEN? Are you fucking kidding me?

-Well, not that I had someone in my bed with that problem recently but yes, those things happen. And now just give me his fucking clothes, keys and stuff and then better forget about it. This is ridiculous.

-You're really perverts. So you and your douche of a motherfucker...

-Easy tiger, easy. Just give me his stuff and you'll never have to see him again.

-Carrie, let's just leave.

(And, the woman simultaneously with Quinn's reappearance:)

-...and your fucking open relationship or whatever. Just take your puppy and leave. And teach him to only use the name while fucking when he's sure it's the right name for the woman he's just slamming into. Or just to make up his mind before.

(Door slammed shut.)

-Carrie. Can we please please please just leave. Like now? Forget about my clothes and whatever. Let's just leave.

(They go to Carrie's car. Yes, Quinn is completely naked. Naked naked. Carrie is stunned by...just everything.)

-If that wasn't awkward or anything then I...

-Can we please just go? Open that fucking door.

-Sure, Quinn. Whatever you need. No need to talk about this. Don't you dare to stain my seats.

-I...I used a condom.

-Responsible. Gold star for you.

-Carrie, I'm...

-Here, sit on that newspaper. God. I'll drive you home now and then...

-No keys.

-Fuck. So I'm stuck with you.

-Yes. No. Of course not. Just drop me at my place. My manager has a spare key, I guess.

-Yeah, exactly. It's nearly 2 am and the naked short term lease from unit 202 rings for the spare key. I won't bail you out of prison. Fuck. We go to my place. Looks like you could use some warming up.

-Where are you eyeing? Fuck, Carrie, eyes on the road.

-You don't command me around, Quinn, not tonight. We'll have that talk. You have it coming and you know it, do you?

(Quinn sighs and looks out of the window, legs crossed, hands covering his lap. He's missing Carrie's curled up corners of her mouth. A real smile. With real actual mirth.)

-So. You wanna make me take some detours cause you enjoy sitting naked in my car so much or you gonna talk?

-Nope.

-Well, I've petrol for about 500 miles. It's gonna be a long night.

-Fuck.

-I already knew that. You were fucking that woman. Or trying to. In her expensive tasteless underwear. You like that kind of stuff?  
I always thought you were more like tearing the fabric and go for it.

-Fuck me.

-It's getting boring. She said that?

-Yeah.

-And then.

-Carrie.

-What?

-Well, you heard her. I got her name wrong.

-What's her name?

-Dunno.

-What was that?

-I forgot. Okay? I forgot.

-Jeez, Quinn, not very gentleman-like. So how did you call her?

-Just the wrong name. Doesn't matter.

-Why did she know who Carrie is then?

-...

-Quinn?

-Fuck, just enjoy yourself, are you?  
You heard her. You know what I said. You're a monster. Stop laughing. STOP.

-I can't stop. Sorry, Quinn. I can't...stop...this is just...you called her...Carrie? This is...just...I'm sorry...I just can't...

-STOP. l just get off. STOP.

-Quinn, stop fiddling that lock. It's locked. You can't get off. And...I've got news for you: You're naked.

(Another outburst of laughter)

-Carrie. Stop that. I mean it.

-So you were fucking her and moaning the wrong name. I mean, that's not pleasant, but can happen. Why was she so fucking angry? You weren't able to make amends?

-How about cause my fucking phone rang about 30 times during our date? And it's always Carrie who's calling? How about I fuck her, get the name wrong and that moment, shenanigans, Carrie calls again? And sends a text message? Saying "We have to talk. That open relationship thing with Javadi doesn't work. We need at least some ground rules. Call me tonight, whenever you're done with what you're doing now. Threw yourself at a girl or what are you up to?" Which is on the lock screen when the said woman gets angry and is about to put the phone away, to get back to business? How about that?

-Fuck, Quinn, that's...

-Yeah, Carrie? What's that? Tell me.

-Pretty shitty bad luck. And so damn funny. You could make stand up comedy with that. Sorry, wasn't aiming for polysemie here. Although...

-No, of course not.

-So, instead of putting your phone away and getting back to business...

-...she threw it out of the window, into the rose hedge, and kicked me out of the door.

-Jeez. Quinn. What the fuck.

-Yeah. Tell me about it.

(A moment of companionable silence)

-This is it. Here we are. I'll park in the garage so nobody will see you.

(They get out of the car. Quinn with the newspaper in his hands, trying to cover his private parts)

-Jeez, Quinn, I once had a sassy asshole of colleague who quipped at me 'Like you've never seen a dick before'. Calm down.

(As she's not moving, he sighs and turns around and leads their walk up the stairs. That minx. That fucking minx.)

-Quinn?

-Yes.

-Not that I'm oggling.

-Well, why would you?

-But you're bleeding. On your calf and your, well, bottom cheek.

-I told you. It was a rose hedge. The one with thornes. 

-Pretty shitty...

-...bad luck. I know.

(In Carrie's condo. Quinn just had a shower. He steps out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, into Carrie's sleeping room and is met by Carrie who has a first aid kit and two tumblers with whisky.)

-Hey.

-Hey.

-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed so hard. It was just...

(He smiles. She's right.)

-Yeah. I know.

-Here. I brought you a drink. Lagavulin.

-Thanks. Ouch.

-Let me have a look at this.

-No.

-Quinn.

-No.

-Fine. Have your whisky while standing. Sleep while standing. Get tetanus because you're such a chicken.

-No.

-It's nothing I haven't seen before. Yours and others.

-Great. Fucking great.

-Have your whisky first.

(Quinn washes his whisky down and lays down on Carrie's bed, on his belly. Carrie opens the towel around his waist.)

-There are still a couple of thornes. I'll get them out.

-Carrie, please...

-It'll just be worse in the morning. I'm good at this. See, that's the first one. You didn't even notice. I told you I'm good at this. Here goes number two. So, tell me once again how that happened. You picked up that woman where? In a bar?

-...

-...

-Ouch. 

-Sorry, did I hurt you? Just tell me that story and I'll be gentle again.

-Fuck.

-You met her in a bar and said 'Fuck'? Great pick up line.

-Ouch. Carrie. Fucking fine. Can't get more embarrassing, can it? Remind me to kill myself tomorrow if I haven't died from shame til then. I met her in a bar, we talked, mutual interest was established...

-'Mutual interest was established', sounds cheerful.

-Shut the fuck up. My phone rings like a thousand times, she's getting a bit annoyed by that Carrie, asks if she's my girlfriend.

-Oh, what did you say at that?

-She's an annoying nuisance from work. I think she has a crush on me but I am not into her. Ouch. That really hurt. Damn it, Carrie. How many are left?

-About ten. And?

-And, I offer to bring her home...

-Sweet.

-You wanna hear it or not, because then stop interrupting. So, she invites me for a nightcap...

-Ah, a classic. She's not one with much phantasy, huh?

-I don't hear you. So, I sit in the living room staring at her coffee table full of Vogue and Home and Garden and Martha Stewart mags...

-Fuck, that bad? Poor Quinn.

-...and she comes back with that negligé and silk robe and matching slippers and two glasses of Baileys.

-Subtle. But Quinn. I'm impressed that you still managed to...

-Yeah. Me too. It was a good way to shut her up. And I already had invested some time...

-I get that. So why did you want to shut her up?

-She kept asking who Carrie is.

-Ah, that blonde nuisance from work.

-Exactly.

-So you helped her to get rid of that ridiculous lingerie.

(Somehow Carrie's done with the thornes. But her hand lays still on his smaller back, just above his - still naked - ass.)

-Yeah. 

-Selfless.

-I know.

-Didn't expect anything else. A gentleman.

-Yep. And things were just about to get serious or actually were serious...

-I get the picture, Quinn, no details required.

-And then that tiny mishap with the name happened. And then the matching text. Which I only read outside. But apparently she read it. Giving her outburst about open relationships.

(They both chuckle.)

-She was exaggerating, I'd say. I mean, let's assume, very hypothetical, I'd pick up a nice guy tonight, take him back home, offer him a nightcap, lure him into my bed...things get serious...

-Carrie...your hand...

-...just that I don't have a negligé, just maybe, let me check, not too bad, a black bra and matching thong...

-Oh, I'm sure that guy wouldn't mind. I'd bet he'd like tearing that underwear apart.

-Well, let's just assume he already did that and then things get...serious...

(Quinn has turned around, a sound of fabric getting torn)

-I get the picture, just go on...with your cheerful story...

-...and he'd be all the way up...Quinn, oh my god...fuck...Quinn...

-Anything else, Carrie? Anything...just say so...and I'll...God...Carrie...

-So, let's imagine it'd mix up names then and call him B...

-Carrie.

-Benjamin. I'd call him Benjamin or...Ben. Would that guy have any problem with that?

-Yes. He would. He'd take your clothes, lock them away and kick you out. Naked. 

-That guy's fucking me in my place. My sleeping room. My bed.

-Uhm. Right. Maybe he'll just gag you with his hand so he can fuck you like no one ever before and you can't say a word.

-Quinn. You...oh, that's...yes. That's...Uhm. Urghjmlmrgh.

-Yeah. I guess, that's what he'd do.

(Quinn looks down at Carrie, searching her eyes with his, bright smile, she's pinned beneath his elbows, one of his hands covers her mouth)

-Hey. Shsh. Shshhhh. You sure you want this? Cause I'd...I'd really like...

(He lets go of her mouth.)

-Yeah. Quinn. That's what I want. You.

(Much later. Both spent. Very spent. And oddly happy.)

-Quinn.

-Yeah?

-You have no clothes.

-I know. That's what brought us here in the first place.

-So, just assuming you still don't wanna give your neighbours a great view while sleepwalking...wanna stay here...the rest of the night?

-I'd like that. 

-Yeah. Me too.

-So I wasn't too bad?

-No. You weren't. You were...just great)

(A while later. She still in his arm, still naked, head on his chest.)

-You know which part I liked?

-No. Do tell.

-When you suggested to get away before the police arrives. Assuming I harmed that woman.

-I'm sorry.

-No. I'm serious. How you were willing to cover for me.

-Always good to have someone having one's back.

-Indeed. And now turn around. Speaking about...

THE END


End file.
